


How Dare You Speak To My Nemesis Like That

by revenblue



Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [98]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heinz is being self-loathing and Perry asks him not to, M/M, POV Second Person, Self-Hatred, Shut Up Kiss, non-sexual references to praise kink, this is very emotionally horny and I am not sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23244082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: Your nemesis has always been his own worst enemy.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [98]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/746841
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69





	How Dare You Speak To My Nemesis Like That

Your nemesis has poor self-esteem. That much has been obvious to you from the start, with his introductory scheme, a way to make everyone love him. You'd thwarted it, of course. Love can't be forced, or bargained for, only freely given.

How fitting that, after these long few months, you've come to genuinely love him. Warts and all.

He loves you just as much, if not more. So much love to give, in that heart of his, and no idea what to do with it all, so it spills out and overflows and makes a mess, and then you have to clean it up. You don't mind. He wouldn't be Heinz without an ill-considered scheme or three.

It's never been easy. Heinz Doofenshmirtz doesn't _do_ "easy", you've accepted that. Between the convoluted schemes for simple tasks, the overdramatic monologues and musical numbers, the days he needs more than you can give, it's been nearly as difficult as lying to your family each day. But, like with your family, it's all worth it when you get that bright grin of affection.

Some days are harder than others. Usually he keeps the worst thoughts to himself, but some days he's voiced them, mountains of vitriol, all directed at himself. Begging you to agree. Which, first of all, you _don't_ , and secondly, how _dare_ someone talk about _your nemesis_ like that.

Boyfriend, too. Your love for him isn't solely as a nemesis, and he's cute when he gets flustered. Which is every time you kiss him. Naturally, you do _that_ as often as you can.

He doesn't beat himself up around you much any more, at least, not after you made it _perfectly_ clear what you think of it. Just where he thinks you can't hear. Like when you're stretched across his lap while he watches his shows, dozing comfortably as his fingers run through your fur, brushing out the knots. Best feeling in the world, being groomed by your nemesis.

Then he starts mumbling to himself, with that voice he only gets when his self-loathing is too much, and you sit up with a glare. You can't let this slide.

Taking his head in your paws, you slowly but firmly kiss him, so he has no room to speak at all. It helps with your stress, to know he's prevented from voicing, and ideally _thinking_ but you're not holding your breath on that one, his worst insecurities.

Like the idea that you're too good for him. Or too Good. The tone and meaning changes sometimes, though the words don't. You don't want to hear it regardless. You've chosen to be with him and you don't need him implying it was the wrong choice, that he isn't _enough_ for you, because he's wrong. He _is_ enough, he's always been enough.

Even when he tells you he's not. When he's mumbling into your mouth, telling you to go, while his trembling hands beg you to stay.

Growling in the back of your throat, you push him back against the chair, tilting your head the way he taught you so your tongue slides along his. You'd like to see him try to talk _now_.

His hands settle in your fur instead, helped along by a nudge from your tail, pulling in just the right way to make your head spin. _Much_ better. Gives him something to do while you occupy his mouth, swallowing his muffled whimpers. He's gorgeous like this, melting under you, his manic energy giving way to an open and vulnerable desperation.

You indulge him, sliding your paw into his hair. Of course you do. Your heart aches every time you see him beg for _scraps_ of attention, eager to please. This, at least, you can give him.

It's not that you hate to see him beg at all. Some selfish part of you _likes_ it, that he asks for things you can so easily give, that it's so easy to make him _happy_. All you have to do is hold his hand when he asks for it and he'll bask in that for the next _week_. No, the _begging_ isn't the issue. It's that he doesn't think he's worthy of the things he's asking for. Such _small_ things. Affection, acknowledgement, the bare minimum.

No wonder he fell so hard and so quickly, at the start. You know how he thinks, you _know_ he latched onto the consistent attention you gave him as a nemesis, the meaning your presence represented. Trust came later. Trust that you'd come back, that you cared about this nemesisship as much as he did.

The rest, as they say, is history.

Breaking the kiss, you pull his forehead to yours so you can look him _right_ in the eyes with a fond glare, panting softly. You need him to listen. No more putting himself down, you plead silently, paws shaking. Not even when he thinks you can't hear him.

He's quiet for the first few seconds, and then mumbles something about it being hard. That gets him a tight hug from you, because you _know_ it's hard, and you believe in him, and you're so, so proud of everything he's accomplished in the short time you've been in his life. He's come _so far_ since your first meeting. From a man who makes excuses, to the man in front of you, trembling and brave and _yours_.

So you kiss him again, and again and again, until you're breathless and dizzy from it. Until he's cursing your name between each one. Until he's, finally, smiling again, grinning that grin you fell in love with.

Though the hurt's faded from his eyes now, you know it's still _there_ , in the back of his mind, and will be no matter what you do. You can't fight it for him. But you can hold him while he fights it, and that's the next best thing. It's not perfect. It's not _fixed_. But, you hope, it's enough for now.

You slump onto his chest with a sigh, making yourself comfortable. There's nowhere else you'd rather be but right here.

His arm curls behind your back without you needing to ask. Stroking your fur with the other hand, he presses a kiss of his own to your hat, mumbling something you can barely hear over the sound of his heartbeat.

Love, you think. He won't call it that but he doesn't need to, you already know.

Wrapping your tail around his waist, you chirr softly, burrowing into his warmth. You love him too. And you'll keep telling him that, however you can, until he believes it. Then you'll tell him some more, just because you _can_. Because it soothes something in your own heart.

Selfishness, yes. It's selfish to love him the way you do. To go against your training, to make a choice based only on what _you_ want. But it's selfishness _he_ taught you.

Though he doesn't often go out of his way to inator people into loving him any more, your nemesis still has poor self-esteem. But he also has your love. Not forced, not bargained for, but freely given. You want, selfishly, for that to be enough, even if only to take some of the weight from his shoulders. Maybe someday it will be.

**Author's Note:**

> Heinz is lucky he's never encountered The Jar™ (like a swear jar but for self-deprecation, payment is saying something nice about yourself). If he had, he woulda had jars yote at his head. With love, obvs.
> 
> *cough* If you try self-deprecation around me you'll find Perry isn't the only one who can yeet jars. Bc seriously, have some faith in your creations. 
> 
> Perryshmirtz server in series description as always.


End file.
